Let The World Spin Madly On
by happiness-x
Summary: A Brucas story, set after the Naley wedding in Season Three!
1. Standing Still

**Disclaimer: I regrettably do not own One Tree Hill. If I did, Lucas and Peyton would never have happened! **

**A/N: **This story is set after the Naley wedding in season three. Everything has happened up to that point. I'm new to this so go easy on me!

"_Hey Luke, it's me. I'm sorry for leaving the wedding without saying goodbye to you; I just feel overwhelmed by everything that's been happening lately and I needed to escape from it all. You know that I love you, right? My love for you has been a constant in my life for such a long time now. Once upon a time, I was a sad, lost and unloved girl who drowned herself in booze and boys in order to escape from my reality. Because of you, I stopped being that girl a long time ago and started to believe in myself; in my potential. And the truth is that I've always felt so unworthy of you. I'm scared that I'm not enough for a guy as amazing and kind as you. I mean, my own parents told me that they never wanted me so what does that say about me as a person? Around you, I feel forgettable and I don't think my heart would be able to survive if you forgot about me also. So you were right when you said that I always seemed to be looking for an excuse to push you away – truth is, I'm terrified of getting my heart broken. I'm scared of taking chances. But I promise that from now on in, I'm going to be brave. I'm going to take a chance and give myself completely to you because I trust you with my heart. I'm going to fight for you, Lucas Scott. As long as you want me, I'll be there – I promise you that. I forgive you for not telling me about the kiss with Peyton during the shooting. Just please, don't give me a reason not to trust you ever again. Be honest with me because after all, everyone makes mistakes and I'm not going to push you away if you mess up. Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say. I'm sorry for baring my soul in a message and not in face to face, I'm just driving home now so give me a call later if you want. I love you Broody." _

Brooke slammed her cell phone shut and smiled as she drove back towards Tree Hill. Ever since she had gotten her license, whenever she needed an escape she just got in her car and drove away from it all. It was the way that she managed to get clarity, whenever life started getting hard. Now that she had sorted out her feelings, all she wanted was to get back to Tree Hill and see her boyfriend to make things right. She was going to fight for Lucas because for her, he was it. He was the only boy she had ever loved and she wanted him to know that.

Suddenly, out of nowhere a car pulled out in front of her and she yanked hard on the wheel to try and avoid an impact- however, her car hit the gravel and she knew she lost control. Now she could only hold on for dear life – literally. The next thing she knew, there was pain. And then finally there was merciful, numbing darkness.

**

Lucas sat in the waiting room of the hospital, nervously waiting for word on how Nathan, Cooper and Rachel were doing. For a day that was supposed to be perfect, so much had gone wrong. But then again, that was Tree Hill for you.

"Lucas!" for a split second he thought that it was Brooke, but instead it was Peyton. She rushed over and wrapped him in a tight hug as he found himself relaxing slowly.

"I just heard what happened" she whispered. "Are they going to be okay?"

"I don't know. Nathan is in surgery while Cooper and Rachel are both still unconscious."

She nodded and squeezed his hand before letting go and sitting down on one of the chairs. "Well, I guess all we can do is wait"

"Do you know where Brooke is? Does she know about the accident yet?"

A dark look crossed Peyton's face. "Let's just say that Brooke isn't exactly going to be informing me of her whereabouts anytime soon, seeing as the last time I saw her, she slapped me across the face."

Lucas couldn't help but sigh. "I'm sorry for telling her about the kiss. I just feel like she's been waiting for an opportunity to push me away so I just didn't want to give her one."

"It's not just about the kiss, Luke – there's something else also that I have to tell you"

"What is it?"

At that moment, the doors to the hospital were flung open as a group of paramedics wheeled and worked at reviving a body on a stretcher. The stretcher quickly disappeared out of sight as one paramedic stayed behind, digging through a wallet to find identification. As Lucas stared at the wallet, he felt his heart drop with a vicious lurch. He'd bought Brooke a wallet identical to the one that the paramedic held in his hands.


	2. Here's to Hope

**Disclaimer: Still don't own One Tree Hill. Damn. **

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! They really are motivating. Seeing how it's a long weekend in Canada (courtesy of Victoria Day!), I have been writing all day in bed. I also don't have a Beta so I'm sorry if there are any grammar mistakes!**

"_I'm not the most eloquent speaker, so I thought I would borrow a few words from Shakespeare. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. When life gets hard, when things change; true love remains the same. I look at Nathan and Haley and somehow, I feel safer. I don't know if I can explain that but they give me hope. And I'm afraid to say it out loud because maybe if life finds out, it'll try to beat it out of them and that would be a shame because we all could use a little hope sometimes, you know. That feeling that everything is going to be okay and that there's going to be someone there to make sure of that. So - here's to Nathan and Haley, here's to hope and here is to a love which will not alter."_

Everything changes. Whether in a decade, a year, a day or even an hour – change is always there. Change is always inevitable.

For Lucas, one hour ago he had been listening to his pretty girl toasting the wedding reception on Nathan and Haley's love. He had watched Nathan hug Haley to him happily and had felt the kind of hope that Brooke had talked about in her speech. And in that moment, he had vowed to be there for Brooke always so that she would know that everything would be okay. In that moment – love triangles and all that drama surrounding Peyton seemed insignificant. As Peyton caught his eye from across the room, he knew that he loved her purely as a friend - nothing more, nothing less. His love for her had altered so significantly over the past two years; ever since the day that he had saw the real Brooke Davis for the first time. And as time had gone by, despite all the growth and change that Brooke had underwent, Lucas's love for her had never altered. Brooke was the girl for him, just like he was the guy for her.

But here he was, an hour later, sitting alone in the corner with his head in his hands, just trying to hold in his tears. He was praying for not three lives now – but four. Brooke, Nathan, Cooper and Rachel each were fighting to keep breathing and there was nothing he could do about it. There was nothing he could say that could make sense of this tragedy – it reminded him of that fateful day in the school when Jimmy Edwards brought in a gun. He couldn't lose Brooke; he wouldn't be able to make it without his Cheery around. He couldn't lose her, not after losing Keith just a couple months ago. And so, Lucas just sat there wrapped up in his thoughts and prayers. He sat there while everything else kept moving, changing and altering around him. He heard cries of relief from Haley when news was brought out about Nathan being okay. But he couldn't look up – he couldn't rejoice – until he knew if his Pretty girl would be okay.

*

Peyton sat there numbly observing everything going on around her. There was Lucas, sitting in the corner away from everyone with his head in his hands just rocking back and forwards, waiting for news on his girlfriend – her best friend, or ex-best friend as their relationship might pertain, especially after her recent confession.

"_You see, I had this horrible dream last night that my best friend told me she had feelings for my boyfriend. Oh, but that wasn't a dream, was it?"_

_Brooke grabbed her suitcase angrily and began stuffing her clothes into it as Peyton stared tearfully at her. "Brooke."_

"_Why now Peyton? Why would you tell me you have feelings for Lucas, now? When I have so much going on in my life – stuff you don't even know about-"_

"_-Well so do I, okay? Trust me. I didn't wish for this, I wished for Jake."_

"_Oh right, you wished for Jake. After you wished for Pete and then Lucas. I can't believe this is happening again." Brooke whispered quietly to herself. _

"_It's not, okay, it's not. It's just, okay, the last time-"_

"_-the last time? Do you hear yourself right now? The last time you tried to steal my boyfriend? He's on the door, Peyton. He's on the damn door under me."_

"_I don't want to steal him, okay?"_

"_But you like him." Peyton could only breathe raggedly at that, while Brooke stared furiously at her._

"_Brooke, I'm not going to do anything about it okay? I'll just bury it-"_

"_-you can't. Okay, it's out. It's like the time capsule. And you could've buried it and not said anything to me so what is that about?"_

"_I don't know, alright. I wanted to be honest to you, alright. I didn't want to make the same mistake I did last time and you know what, you even said last night at Tric that you didn't even miss him."_

_At the last words that came out of Peyton's mouth, she knew that she had gone too far – she had pushed Brooke too far. Sure enough, there was a resounding slap and she felt the left side of her face burn from the impact of Brooke's hand. _

"_Don't you dare, don't you dare twist my words around to make yourself feel like you are not a backstabbing two faced bitch, Peyton, because you are and you know it."_

_With those final words, Brooke grabbed her bag and stormed out of Peyton's house and out of her life. As Peyton watched her leave, she knew. She knew that this was a moment where everything had changed. And somehow, as Brooke's car squealed angrily out of the driveway, she knew it wasn't for the better. _

It's funny, about ten minutes ago - Peyton was sitting by Lucas about to confess her feelings for him. Ten minutes ago, Peyton had been imagining telling Lucas that she loved him only for him to smile upon her and say that he loved her as well. However, Lucas had ran away from her mid-way through her confession towards a paramedic who had confirmed with the help of the wallet, that it was indeed Brooke Penelope Davis who had been in a car crash and who now is fighting for her life.

And now, Peyton is only sitting there – reflecting on Brooke's words to her. Maybe she was a back stabbing two faced bitch.

At that moment, another doctor walked out and Lucas's tear stained face snapped up expectantly.

"I just wanted to inform you that Cooper Lee has woken up." The doctor informed to group and Lucas's head sunk back down, sadly.

Peyton sighed. She loved Brooke but deep down she knew that she had already made a decision in her mind. When it came down to it, she would always choose Lucas over Brooke's friendship.


	3. The Darkest Hour

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Still. **

**A/N: Here is chapter three! I hope that it's okay because I really struggled through it. **

It's true what they say: the darkest hour is just before the dawn. When you think you've lost all hope, when you think you can't possibly go on, you remember – things will get better. You have to believe in the strength and immensity of love. You have to remember in the good and believe that everything will be okay.

Lucas was at his darkest hour as he sat in Brooke's hospital room beside her. Throughout all the years he'd known Brooke Davis, he'd never have thought that it'd get to this. He'd never thought that he'd feel like he couldn't go on without seeing her smile. Without seeing her get all perky and start throwing out made-up nicknames when she got really excited. Lucas remembered when he'd realized that he couldn't live without Brooke in his life - it had been after Keith's failed wedding to Jules and she told him that her parents were moving to California.

Since then, he'd always made sure to do whatever it took to make sure that Brooke would never walk out of his life. Of course, he hadn't took Peyton randomly kissing him in the library on the day of the shooting into consideration as a situation that he should try to avoid. It'd happened and he'd hated himself for it – he hated himself for being so weak that he couldn't tell Brooke, just because he was scared that she'd leave him.

The door creaked open and Lucas turned to see his mom greet him with a soft smile.

"How's she doing?"

"The doctor's did everything they could. Now, she just has to wake up."

"And she will, Lucas. I brought you some food because I figured you haven't eaten in awhile – oh, and I also brought you your phone. You forgot it in the car."

Lucas nodded his thanks to his mother and dug into the food ravenously while Karen paused to touch Brooke on the arm.

"Come back to us Brooke."

*

As Haley walked back into the hospital, she decided she'd seen enough of the hospital in Tree Hill to last her a lifetime. This wasn't the honeymoon she had dreamed of but as long as everyone was okay, she would chalk it up as the best honeymoon ever. Nathan was at their apartment sleeping and truthfully, Haley was at a loss on what to do. She was scared for her best girl friend – Brooke – and she was scared of what Brooke's accident might mean for the two of them. She remembered the night before the wedding when Brooke had stopped by looking panicked.

"_Tutor-wife, this is bad. This is bad bad. Like really bad."_

_Haley laughed at Brooke's dramatics, it was impossible not to. "Slow down, Tigger, what's wrong?"_

"_I'm late."_

_Haley's eyes widened in shock at Brooke's words and she pulled her over to the bed. "Have you taken a pregnancy test yet?"_

"_No. I'm too scared to take one. What am I going to do?" Brooke whimpered pitifully into Haley's shoulder. _

"_It'll be okay Brooke. Can I tell you something also?"_

"_Is it worse then me being late?" Brooke asked hopefully. _

"_That depends. I'm late also."_

_Brooke looked at Haley in shock and flung herself back on the bed. "God, look at us. We've got to take those tests."_

"_Tomorrow, we'll go to the doctor's office and take a pregnancy test so we'll know for sure."_

"_It's a deal. It's all going to be okay, isn't it Haley?"_

"_I hope so, Brooke, I hope so."_

But they'd never gotten the chance to go to the doctors and take the test. Brooke had shown up too late and they'd agreed to put it off for another week – at least until Haley got back from her honeymoon.

*

It wasn't until later that Lucas thought to look at his cell phone and he nearly dropped his phone in shock when he saw that there was a voice mail message from Brooke on it.

He excused himself from his mom, kissed the unconscious Brooke gently on the cheek and walked out into the hospital lobby to hear the message that his pretty girl had left him. Except in his haste, he ran straight into Haley who shielded herself upon impact.

"Hey Hales, how's Nate doing?"

"He's at home sleeping right now. How are Brooke and Rachel doing now?"

"A nurse came in with word that Rachel had woken up a bit ago so I guess all we have to do is wait for Brooke now. What are you doing here?"

"Oh just checking on Brooke, you know-" Haley said awkwardly as a nurse interrupted their conversation.

"Mrs. Scott? Doctor West is ready to see you now." The nurse smiled at her kindly while Haley's face turned beet red.

"Err – sorry Luke, got to go. I'll be by to visit Brooke in a bit."

Lucas could only raise an eyebrow at her. Since when did Haley start lying to him? He shook those thoughts off though as he dialed his voice mail and heard Brooke's voice again.

*

As Lucas walked happily back towards Brooke's hospital room, Karen met him outside the door with a beaming smile.

"Brooke's awake."


	4. Change is Coming

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own One Tree Hill. **

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long with this chapter. It's kind of a filler and I struggled with it a lot but hopefully it's okay. If not, at least this story is good practice – I'm learning with each chapter. Thanks for all the nice reviews. Love love love.**

"I missed you so much pretty girl, don't scare me like that again" Lucas murmured as he took her hand in his and softly brushed his lips over hers, while Brooke gave a contented sigh.

"I missed this." She couldn't help but give a slight giggle at the eyebrow raise he gave her, "Okay, I guess I missed you too, Broody boy."

"How are you feeling?"

Brooke couldn't help but grimace as she assessed her injuries. "Honestly, like hell. I need a doctor to get in here to tell me what the damage is. Did they tell you anything?"

"No – the doctor said that they couldn't release any information to people who weren't family members."

A hurt look quickly crossed Brooke's eyes and she looked away. "I take it that my parents didn't come to see me, then."

Lucas brushed his hand softly along her cheek so that Brooke would turn to face him again. "Hey, don't let it get you down Brooke. They are the ones making a huge mistake by not knowing you."

Brooke's characteristic dimples deepened as she smiled. "I love you, Lucas Scott. Thank you."

"I love you too, Brooke, and what could you possibly be saying thank you for?"

"For being here; for caring"

Brooke's doctor breezed through the door, interrupting the moment that Brooke and Lucas were sharing, clearing his throat impatiently.

"Do you want me to stay with you while the doctors talk to you?" Lucas murmured quietly.

"No–" Brooke said hastily and then backtracked at the look on Lucas's face. "Don't worry about me, broody, I can take care of myself."

"Okay, as long as you know that you don't always have to. I'm just going to go down to the cafeteria and grab some food, do you want anything?

Brooke shook her head softly. "Thanks, Luke, I love you."

With that, Lucas gave her another lingering kiss and headed out the door, leaving Brooke alone to face the doctor.

*

"_Congratulations, Mrs. Scott – you're pregnant."_

Haley sat by herself on a hospital bed, reeling from the aftershock of the news that the doctor had just delivered, numbly holding the information booklets on her pregnancy and her pre-natal vitamins. Pregnant – as in she was going to have a kid. As in Nathan and her were going to be parents.

It was hard for Haley not to feel completely overwhelmed and panicked by this realization. She was, after all, only a senior in High School. And as Haley sat there, she felt as if she just might be in over her head. Nathan – how was she going to tell him about this? Haley remembered the huge argument they had gotten into in the fall – the day after when this baby was most likely conceived.

She remembered the raw emotions of that night. The realization that Nathan might be on his way to forgiving her. She remembered how he wore his wedding ring around his neck, where it rested by his heart. She remembered how his voice sounded when he asked if she would stay. And most of all, she remembered the sheer beauty of that night – how on that night, their souls had rejoined and had emerged stronger than ever. That's what loving someone in the way that Haley loved Nathan felt.

But of course, the beauty of that night had been ruined by the next day's ugliness. There had been a fight over how Haley hadn't been on birth control that night. And even worse, there had been anger and suspicion by Nathan that she had tried to get pregnant on purpose.

Ugly words were said; words that Haley still hadn't managed to forget. And sitting here now in the doctors office reminded her of that night and the day after.

And so, Haley sat there and wondered – how the hell was she going to tell him?

*


	5. When Your Heart Went Missing

**Disclaimer: I still don't own One Tree Hill. **

**A/N: Here it is – the fifth chapter! You might be unimpressed with the direction I'm taking it in but just remember that I loathe Peyton with Lucas. I don't think it'd be possible for me to write them together so never fear. I also decided that I'm going to make this story a rewrite in a sense of the atrociousness of season four. I might use some actual storylines from the show, exclude others and make up some of my own as I go! Hope you all enjoy and thanks for the reviews. 3 **

*

There are moments when you wonder how fragile a heart really is. You wonder how much one heart can take. And of course, you wonder if a heart really can break.

Me? I used to go about my life knowing that my heart was indestructible. I was invincible and fearless when it came to the affairs of my heart. Boys walked in and out of my life but my heart never noticed them. My heart was never in those relationships, after all, so it was impossible to get hurt. And it was impossible, then, for my heart to break.

But Lucas suddenly came into my life and changed everything. He broke the barriers to my heart and he made me care, damn it. He made me fall for him so hard and then he wasn't there to break my fall. Instead, he was off lying and hooking up with my best friend - or at least, the girl who used to be my best friend.

They broke me; the two of them broke my heart. And if you've ever known what a broken heart feels like, you can understand why I was so scared to give Lucas a chance again. You can understand why I never fully trusted Peyton again; especially around Lucas.

But I gave Lucas another chance. I took a risk and put my heart out on a metaphorical chopping block. And I found myself falling for Lucas – my boyfriend – more and more as each month slipped by. And somewhere in my relationship with Lucas, I began to lose the fear that one day he would break my heart worse than he did the first time around. If he did that to me again, I didn't know how I could possibly recover. Because you can't die from a broken heart – you only wish you can.

And so, here I stand in the hallway of the hospital watching Peyton and Lucas sharing a long and lingering hug. My heart is in one of the darkest places I've ever known it to be and then I have to watch this scene in front of me – hell, I could practically hear my heart being ripped apart at the seams that Lucas had painstakingly sewn back together.

As Lucas and Peyton broke out of their hug, I limped as quickly as I could out of their view and into a random hospital room and just stood there against the back of the door, trying to breathe; trying to make sense of all the changes that had just happened in my life over the past half hour. And I hid, because the second last thing I felt like doing was facing the two of them. I couldn't even face myself anymore, let alone him because I knew that I wasn't worthy of Lucas. I never was going to be enough. Not after this.

*

Rachel opened her eyes to hear gut-wrenching sobs coming from the side of the room.

"Well I know I'm not in heaven because they'd never let Brooke Davis's skanky ass through the gates"

Brooke looked up in shock. "And your ass wouldn't have fit. At least your old one." She replied bitingly with a ghost of a smile gracing her pale face.

"So, why the tears by my bed, slut? Were you that concerned about me?" Rachel then took in the sling and cast on Brooke's arm, as well as all of the dark bruises that covered Brooke's face and body. "Jesus, Brooke, what happened to you? Did you have that throw down with Peyton?"

Brooke snorted with laughter, "I wish. I kind of totaled my car by accident-"

"Are you okay?"

"Not really but I'm fine."

Rachel remembered the last time she had heard those words come out of Brooke's mouth. It had been during Nathan and Haley's wedding and Rachel had accidentally overheard an argument between Brooke and Peyton.

"_So this is how it ends," Peyton said, "A ten year friendship that survived two dead moms, three absentee parents, shoplifting, jail time-" at that, Peyton gave Brooke what looked like a friendly nudge but Brooke's jaw tensed even tighter in response. However, Peyton continued undeterred- "and we can't survive one boy?"_

"_Not one boy, Peyton. My boy."_

"_And he still is your boy, I told you that." Rachel could feel her own lip curling up at Peyton's response, mirroring Brooke's own expression. There was something about the tone in which Peyton said that which seemed to imply that he wouldn't be for long if Peyton told him her feelings. _

_And then Peyton pulled an instant 180 degree change in the conversation- "Do you love him?"_

_It took all of Rachel's restraint not to emerge from the curtains which she was behind at kick Peyton's scrawny ass for her nerve._

_Brooke looked over at Peyton astonished, "You are something else. How dare you be so selfish to ask me that about my boyfriend-"_

"_-How dare I? Okay you know what Brooke; I didn't want it to be this way, okay? I tried tears, alright, I tried apologizing to you, I cried and you know what – you slapped me and you blew me off."_

"_Oh so you confess that you apparently love my boyfriend and expect me to take it with a smile and go back to being friends like before? No, you know what Peyton, next time you'll be lucky if I don't use my fist."_

"_I can't believe you're supposed to be the maid of honor" Peyton said disdainfully, "And by the way, none of those words were 'Yes Peyton, I love him'"_

_With one last contemptuous look, Peyton walked away leaving Brooke, whose façade was beginning to crumble._

_Rachel rushed out and placed her hand tentatively on Brooke's shoulder. "I just heard what that troll said to you. Are you okay?"_

"_Not really but I'm fine." _

Rachel couldn't help but sigh – "Cut the crap Brooke, you're definitely not fine."

"You're right, I'm not. I don't think I'm ever going to be again, Rach and you want to know why? I was late for my period, like really late. And then my best friend confessed that she was in love with my boyfriend and like – expected me to be happy for her or something. And then I found out that Lucas and Peyton kissed a couple of months ago when they were hiding in the library during the shooting at school. Oh, and then while I was driving away from the mess that is my life, I crashed my car and ended up in the damn hospital, Rachel. And then after my doctor tells me that I lost my child, I go to find Lucas so that I can cry into his arms and feel as if maybe everything will be okay, he's instead enjoying a nice, long and oh so romantic hug with Peyton. And now I'm here, spilling my soul to a girl who tried to take me down last year." With those last words, Brooke broke down and began sobbing her heart out while Rachel tried to take in Brooke's entire tirade and comfort her.

"It'll be okay. It'll be okay, Brooke."

That was all she could whisper and the truth is – she didn't know if it would be. She didn't know if anything could possibly be okay in this moment.

*


	6. You've Got To Go There To Come Back

**Disclaimer: I (regrettably) don't own One Tree Hill so don't sue. **

**A/N: I suck! I'm not even going to bother making excuses for my laziness. It seems that since school ended, my brain has gone on hiatus. Chapter 7 is almost done now though so I should be updating again soon! If you have any ideas/comments, please review!! I hope this chapter is okay.**

Have you ever walked by someone who looks like they should have the world in the palm of their hand? You know, we assume that the cheerleader or the jock – the pretty and popular people in the high school – have life damn good. Why? Because that's just the way it is. Bad things can't possibly happen to those kinds of people; instead, they only happen to us mere mortals.

But that's the mistake we make. Sometimes you see a person but you never really see them. Sometimes from the outside, a life can look good; a life can seem perfect to others. But they don't know the half of it. They don't know what could possibly be wrong on the inside. And that's the sad thing; we all do this – each and every day. We make assumptions on people because it's easier to judge than actually stop and open our eyes to the truth. We assume because it's simply easier that way.

Growing up, I was always one of those people who watched the popular crowd with envy. I wanted to be like them so badly that I let it consume me. But to them, I was always just Rachel – the fat girl. I was the girl that nobody thought twice about. And somewhere along my journey, I made a decision to do something about it. I made the decision to undergo surgery in order to become one of them. And once I did, I realized that I felt the same as I always did. I might have looked different but underneath my new exterior, I felt the same hollowness I always had.

I was once one of those people who assumed that Brooke Davis had a damn good life. I figured, how could she not? She was beautiful, kind and had friends who seemed to do anything for her. I made the mistake of judging Brooke and after I got to know her, I repeatedly wondered how I could've only bothered to look only at her exterior life.

That's just the kind of person Brooke is. She goes through life wearing a smile, even when things are hard. You never find her giving up because she's simply not that type of girl. She is brave and faces the world each day – regardless of which battle she might have to face and I often wonder on how she's able to do that.

But now, Brooke's hiding out from the world because she's broken. And sometimes, I'm scared that she might be broken beyond repair; broken beyond my help. And if there's one thing I hate, it's feeling helpless.

*

Rachel marched into the room she shared with Brooke, switched on the light and without breaking stride, marched over and pulled the curtains back to reveal a beautiful North Carolina fall day.

"Enough is enough, Brooke. Get up, damn it"

The only response Rachel got was mutinous muttering and then Brooke simply pulled the sheets over her head in an attempt to block the sunlight.

Rachel rolled her eyes and continued, undeterred. "Seriously Brooke, I know that you're going through a hard time but you can't give up like this. I've been covering your ass all week at school but I can't anymore. It's time to join the real world, Brookie"

"It's only been two weeks, Rach. Plus I think I'm allowed to get in some grieving time over the loss of my baby without you bitching down my throat" Brooke replied wearily from beneath her covers.

"I get it Brooke, I do – but I might be more understanding if you told the father of your unborn baby about his loss also."

With those words, Brooke finally sat up in the bed. "I can't do that to Lucas. What he doesn't know won't hurt him." She trailed off as she stared at the wall, seemingly lost in thought before she continued. "I just can't help but wonder if maybe this is a sign. Maybe I'm not good enough to carry Lucas's child; maybe I'm simply not good enough to be with him. He'd be better off with the Peyton's of the world than with me."

Rachel rolled her eyes unsympathetically at Brooke's words. "I'll leave the heavy thinking up to you, Brooke. You're the one who's going to have to do a lot of explaining about why you've been avoiding Lucas for the past two weeks."

Brooke moaned and collapsed back in her bed. "You're totally not helping things"

*

Voicemail. It can be your friend and it can be your enemy. Over the last few weeks, Lucas had become quite familiar with Brooke's voicemail. He had also become familiar with the sight of Rachel's door being slammed in his face by the annoyed red head. And for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what had gone wrong. One moment, everything had been perfect and the next – everything had fallen apart.

As Lucas walked through the school towards his locker, he saw Haley pacing anxiously by Nathan's locker, gnawing on her fingernails – a sure sign that she was worried about something.

"Hey Hales, everything okay?"

Haley started in surprise and turned around to face Lucas with a smile on her face.

"Of course! Why wouldn't things be fine?"

Lucas raised his eyebrow skeptically and Haley sighed. "Sorry – I forget that both Scott brothers can read me like a book."

"Not to mention the fact that you are a terrible liar."

"That too, how's Brooke doing lately? I've tried calling her. I can't believe she's staying with Rachel."

"I know, they must have started talking to each other when Brooke and I stopped."

Haley winced sympathetically and patted Lucas on the shoulder. "What happened exactly between you two at the wedding?"

"I kind of accidentally told Brooke about – uh – how Peyton kissed me the day of the school shooting."

If looks could have killed, Lucas would have been dead with the glare that Haley was giving him.

"You and Peyton kissed – again?" Without waiting for an answer, Haley stormed off, leaving Lucas behind.

*

It might have been the hormones talking but after Haley heard about Peyton and Lucas kissing – again – the first thing that came to her mind was slapping Peyton. As she stalked through the school, searching for the familiar blonde curls, she finally spotted her standing by Lucas's locker.

Peyton smiled, unaware, as Haley marched up to her. "Hey Hales"

Without pausing for pleasantries, Haley slapped her across the face.

"God – what is this? Slap Peyton week?"

"You kissed Lucas, again. So yes, I think you deserve it."

"I'm guessing Brooke told you."

"No actually. No one has talked to Brooke in two weeks, not that you seem to care."

"She's my best friend, of course I care."

Haley laughed at the irony of Peyton's statement. "A true friend – let alone best friend - would never dream, let alone act upon kissing their best friend's boyfriend, Peyton. Open your eyes."

"It's not like that-" Peyton began to say, before Haley interrupted her again. "So what's it like? Here you are, standing by Lucas's locker, waiting for him. He's not yours, Peyton. He loves Brooke and you know that, so what the hell are you doing?"

Before Peyton could even reply, Haley spun around and walked away.

*


	7. Let It Be

**Disclaimer: Don't own One Tree Hill or the song Happiness by The Fray. **

**A/N: Here we go – chapter seven! It's extra long (for me) so I hope you all enjoy. Thank you for the nice reviews, please keep them up! They definitely help motivate me to keep on writing, even when the words aren't coming easily. Love. **

_Happiness is just outside my window_

_I thought it'd crash, blowing eighty miles an hour_

_But happiness is a little more like knocking_

_On your door, you just let it in_

_Happiness feels a lot like sorrow_

_Let it be, you can't make it come or go_

_But you are gone, not for good but for now_

_And gone for now, feels a lot like gone for good_

Haley sat in the empty apartment, melancholy strumming her guitar and singing to herself. Whenever things got hard, music was the only thing that made sense. Music was Haley's form of therapy; the only way she knew how to heal. And right now, her life seemed to be spinning out of control while she was just there – standing still. Forced to watch everything she believed in, fall apart in front of her.

And then, there was this abject feeling of disappointment. She was no stranger to feeling disappointed – it kind of came hand in hand with the lax attitude her parents held towards her upbringing. There was the string of forgotten birthdays, Christmas presents and just an overall indifference they had towards anything she did. Haley remembered reading a quote once in school that had stopped her in her tracks: _The opposite of love isn't hate – it's indifference_. Once upon a time, all she had wanted was for her parents to take notice of her – to feel proud. But that dream had died; after awhile, Haley learned to only strive to make her self proud. It was easier that way.

But then, Lucas, Karen and Keith came into Haley's life and she became part of their makeshift family. For once in her life, Haley felt as if she belonged. And for once, someone actually took notice of her and made her feel worthy.

Lucas was like the brother Haley never had. Sure, they fought constantly, yet through it all, they had an unconditional bond with each other – an unconditional love and acceptance, no matter what. It after all had always been just them against the world.

And of course, there was Karen and Keith – two adults that Haley respected more than anyone else. One day in school, Haley's grade four teacher had asked everyone to write down who they aspired to be like when they grew up. Haley wrote down Karen's name, while the rest of the girls jotted down names like Posh Spice and Baby Spice.

Karen always had a certain grace and poise about her that Haley admired; even if she wasn't able to vocalize those traits at that age. And there was no doubt about it that Karen was tough – she wasn't just a survivor, she was a warrior. She met her battles head on and never quit. Then, there was the compassion and kindness that Karen gave to each and every person she met; whether they deserved it or not.

As the years passed, Haley began to see the different sides to each story and she realized that her world wasn't just black and white; it also came in shades of grey. She noticed the way that Keith stared at Karen when he thought that no one was looking. And she wondered why Karen tried to pretend that they were merely friends when there were clearly feelings harbored between both people.

Haley also began to realize that there were different sides to people she once assumed to be one-dimensional. People like Nathan, Brooke and Peyton - the pretty and popular of Tree Hill who before, never deigned to notice that Lucas and Haley even existed. It was easy to just write them off as being superficial and shallow but the truth is that Haley never bothered to see past that one dimension image that they presented – just like they never bothered to get to know her.

But change irrevocably came after Lucas joined the basketball team and Haley began to tutor Nathan. Suddenly, they were thrust into a whole new world. And while Haley first found a friend in Peyton, it was Brooke who picked her back up off the ground when she returned from tour to find that her world had fallen into pieces. With that one offer of being roommates, Haley's friendship and loyalty towards Brooke was sealed.

And now, all that Haley felt was a sadness and disappointment in Lucas. Disappointment over him making the same mistake – in giving Peyton an excuse to hope.

She was also disappointed in Peyton, who went against her word. She had known how hard it was for Brooke to trust Lucas; to give him another chance. She had seen the cat and mouse game that they had played for the better part of a year. Peyton had witnessed the scene of utter devastation that had occurred after Brooke had slept with Chris Keller. Peyton had all the chances in the world to go for Lucas, yet she didn't. Instead, she had pushed Brooke to him, promising that they were only friends. That was the thing with her; she might want Lucas today but what about tomorrow. Tomorrow she might set her heart on another whim – on another boy.

And then, there was Nathan. After the accident, he had surrounded himself with an impenetrable emotional distance. It was a distance that Haley couldn't seem to bridge; no matter how hard she tried. Now, everything had changed again – even if Nathan wasn't yet aware of it. It wasn't just them; they were now responsible for bringing another life into this world. And that thought managed to scare Haley more than anything.

But yet, she sat there quietly strumming her guitar, waiting for Nathan to return to her.

*

Lucas quietly opened the door of Nathan and Haley's apartment to see Haley sitting with her back facing the door, in mid song.

_Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard_

_Happiness was never mine to hold_

_Careful child, light the fuse and get away_

'_Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks_

Despite their argument that day, Lucas couldn't help but smile as he listened to his best friend sing. He'd missed it and that thought shocked him briefly, he hadn't realized how little Haley sang since she'd returned home from her tour.

_Happiness damn near destroys you_

_It breaks your faith to pieces on the floor_

_So you tell yourself, that's enough for now_

_But happiness has a violent roar_

_Happiness, it's like the old man told me_

_Look for it, and you'll never find it at all _

_But let it go, live your life and leave it_

_Then one day, you wake up and she'll be home_

_She'll be home_

As Haley concluded her song, Lucas broke out into applause and chuckled as Haley startled.

"Lucas Eugene Scott! Don't scare me like that again" Haley gasped as she held her hand to her chest to calm her breathing. "Jeez, I nearly had a heart attack"

"Sorry Hales"

"For that – or for today?"

"Maybe a bit of both"

Haley laughed and then sighed. "I'm sorry also. I shouldn't have come down so hard on you, but hey, it could have been worse."

"How so?"

"You could be Peyton. I kind of freaked out at her…" Haley trailed off sheepishly while Lucas narrowed his eyes.

"Freaked out as in got mad at her?"

"-and maybe slapped her?"

Lucas sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "What am I going to do with you?"

Haley laughed and settled back into her chair. "Oh, Rachel called me earlier to let me know that she's throwing a surprise birthday for Brooke tomorrow night, after the basketball game"

Lucas couldn't help but frown at this. "Do you think she's ready to have a party thrown for her? The accident was only two weeks ago and she hasn't even returned to school yet. She hasn't even talked to hardly anyone, yet."

"Every person heals in different ways, Luke. Don't take it personally." Haley offered and then frowned as she processed her own advice.

"I would ask how Nathan's doing but the look on your face is giving it all away. Is it that bad?"

Haley nodded slowly. "I'm hoping that getting back into basketball will make him feel better because I don't know what else to do for him. He's not letting me in or communicating how he feels, at all."

Lucas walked over to his best friend and brought her into a hug. "It'll be alright, Hales. Nathan will come around – he'll be okay."

"I hope so" Haley whispered silently.

*

Brooke walked along the moonlit streets of Tree Hill, uncertain of where she was even going. All she knew was that she needed to get out of that house before she screamed. It seemed suffocating, for some reason. But then again, so did everything lately.

As she walked along, she mused on how everything looked the same. Nothing had changed, except for her. It was only her world which had altered past the point of recognition, leaving her feeling void of any emotion. There was only an aching emptiness which seemed to press against her.

And that was the point of it all – this emptiness. As terrified as she'd felt over having a baby, this was worse. And then there was a guilt that swallowed her whole; almost as if she'd wished this upon herself for being scared.

It was hard for Brooke to not take it as a sign; the baby that Lucas and her had conceived had died. The baby was gone. Maybe her relationship with Lucas was next. That is, if he hadn't already gone running off with Peyton.

Brooke suddenly stopped as she realized where her footsteps had ended up – on the river court. She glanced around and realized that she wasn't alone. Nathan was there also, lying on the pavement of the court with his eyes closed.

Hesitantly, Brooke walked over and settled herself besides him and he opened his eyes.

"Hey Nate" Brooke whispered hoarsely.

"Brooke. Hey, how are you feeling?"

Brooke shot him a look and he grimaced in response. That was the thing with Nathan and Brooke; often they didn't need to communicate with words. They simply just knew what the other was thinking.

Wordlessly, the two laid on the court and just stared out into the North Carolina night sky. They laid there and let the rest of the world move onwards as they sat still.

That was, until Brooke opened her mouth and said in a whisper so quiet that only Nathan could have possibly hear, "I was pregnant when that car crashed into mine."

And then she fell apart, while Nathan could only wrap his arms around her and comfort her while he attempted to make sense out of this discovery.

*

Peyton sat down on her bed and stared at the blank notepad lying in front of her. For once in her life, she didn't know what to draw. She didn't know what to even think. All she could see was the look of disappointment in Haley's eyes and the feel of Haley's hand connecting with her face. And all she could hear were Haley's words resonating in her head, accompanied by some of Brooke's choicer words to her as well.

"_You wished for Jake. After you wished for Pete and then Lucas"_

"_Don't you dare twist my words around to make yourself feel like you are not a backstabbing two faced bitch, Peyton, because you are and you know it"_

"_A true friend – let alone, best friend – would never dream, let alone act upon kissing their best friends boyfriend, Peyton. Open your eyes."_

Peyton stood back up and paced around. It was in moments like these that she wished she had her mom still with her. She'd like to believe that her mom would know what to say to make everything okay again.

But then again, it wasn't like when you were a child and all wounds could be healed with a kiss and a band-aid.

Now, kisses could tear everything apart and band-aids weren't going to heal anything.

*

**What did you all think of this chapter? Next up is going to be Brooke's surprise party…with some surprise visitors from some characters pasts while some secrets come out.**


	8. Such Great Heights

**Disclaimer: don't own One Tree Hill or any of the characters. I also don't own the song Such Great Heights by The Postal Service. **

**A/N: I worked faithfully every night at this but since it's taking so long (and work is kicking my ass), I figured I'd post this part of Brooke's surprise party as one chapter and then the next part as the next chapter whenever I get it done! If you like it, hit me up with a review…I love any comments or ideas. xo**

_I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles _

_In our eyes are mirror images and when_

_We kiss they are perfectly aligned_

20, 19, 18…

As the clock ticked down, all Lucas could feel was the beat of his heart and the feel of her eyes on him. Almost as if they were silently willing him onwards.

It was as if he were seeing everything in slow motion. He was aware of the time ticking down in their first playoff game as the Ravens were behind three points.

As he watched the ball move towards him, he side stepped the opposing player and stole the ball in mid-bounce. And there it was – just him, alone, dribbling towards the basket.

Lucas got cornered by two defenders and passed the ball to Nathan who hungrily searched for an opening; a possible way to score a three pointer, while Lucas managed to shake off his opponents.

And there it was – Nathan's pass, which Lucas had been expecting.

5, 4, 3…

The instant the ball left Lucas's hands, he knew it was as good as in. Their playoff run – Whitey's last chance at a State Championship – was safe.

2, 1…

The roar of the crowd was deafening as the Ravens swamped Lucas with back slaps and high fives while the cheerleaders separated with them. Lucas stepped away from the crowd and instinctively, his eyes sought for her.

Looking into Lucas's eyes always managed to take Brooke's breath away. It was as if the instant she locked eyes with his – green on blue – everything else was forgotten. All the pain, all the doubts, insecurities and guilt seemed to vanish. It was just them; that was all that mattered. For one minute, they were perfect; despite their imperfections.

_And I, have to speculate that God himself_

_Did make us into corresponding shape_

_Like puzzle pieces from the clay_

_True, it may seem like a stretch_

_But it's thoughts like this that catch my troubled head_

_When you're away, when I am missing you to death_

It was during that state of peace of mind caused by Lucas's eyes that Brooke found herself drawn closer and closer to him until their faces were grazing each other. Brooke blinked as she felt something wet on her face, until she realized that it was from the sweat dripping off of Lucas and then she broke out into giggles, which unbeknownst to Brooke, caused her dimples to deepen while Lucas just smiled adoringly at her.

Maybe, just maybe – she mused to herself – things could be this simple. When words became involved, things complicated. But like this, in this moment, she knew that she whole heartedly and irrevocably was in love with Lucas Scott. And for once, she wasn't scared that he was instead in love with someone else – namely Peyton.

"I missed you, Brooke" Lucas whispered into her ear and just like that, the moment was over and the spell was broken. When it came to their relationship, maybe some things were better left unsaid.

*

Peyton paced outside of Lucas's door as her mind replayed the scene that she'd witnessed tonight after the basketball game, over and over. She'd seen Lucas step away from the swarm of the bodies of his teammates and saw his eyes searching the crowd – searching for someone.

For one minute, her heart had leapt and lurched in her chest as she thought that maybe he was looking for her. But then his eyes had moved past her, almost as if she hadn't even been there at all and instead, landed on Brooke.

It was in that moment that Peyton felt a feeling reminiscent to the one she used to feel when she drove by a car accident. You never wanted to stop and gawk, but somehow you did, anyway.

It is the human condition, after all, to be inexplicably drawn like a moth to a flame to things you know you don't want to see. Things you know will end up tearing you apart and breaking you down. In short, it is the human condition to be a masochist - which was why Peyton was here.

"Peyton?" Lucas asked as he swung open the door to see her pacing around outside.

"I need to talk to you, Luke" she replied as she walked into his room, holding her breath that Brooke wasn't in there.

It was then that she turned around to face him and noticed that he seemed dressed up.

"Hot date tonight?" she joked awkwardly.

Lucas shook his head, "Nah, actually, there's a surprise party for Brooke"

"Oh," Peyton said while her mind was reeling. Had it really gotten so bad that she wouldn't be invited to Brooke's birthday party?

"Yeah… sorry, was there something you needed to say, Peyt?"

"Yes – yeah, you know what, there is." Without breaking stride, Peyton marched over and tried to passionately kiss Lucas. Tried would be the key word because their lips touched for about one second before Lucas broke away, shouting at her.

"What the hell, Peyton? You can't just kiss me whenever you feel like it – God."

"Well sorry if I'm in love with you, Lucas. There, I finally said it."

And then, there was silence while Lucas tried to process her words.

"Peyton," he said in a gentle voice which she knew, didn't bode well for her, "I'm sorry. I know we can't help the ones we love, which is why I don't love you. Sure, maybe on paper we'd look like a perfect couple because we're so similar but I just don't feel anything more than friendship for you. You know I'm in love with Brooke, Peyton."

Peyton numbly nodded before whispering, "I have a confession to make. I told Brooke that I was in love with you the night before Nathan and Haley's wedding. That's why she was – is – so upset with me."

Lucas's blue eyes hardened into ice and he said nothing; nothing other than, "I think you should go. I have to get to the party."

As Peyton walked out of his door, she wondered, how many more bridges would she keep on burning before she had nothing – or no one - left?

*

"This is so all your fault if Lucas gets pissed" Haley hissed at Rachel as they attempted to support a completely hammered Brooke up the walk to Rachel's house where everyone was waiting to surprise her.

"oh, bite me, tutor-wife" Rachel retorted back while Haley mentally tried to remember what she actually liked about Rachel, other than the fact that Brooke now liked her.

Brooke slurred out a mess of unintelligible words before beginning to gravitate towards the ground again, which forced Haley and Rachel to concentrate on the immediate present – Operation Get Brooke Sober.

Of course, it had been Rachel's idea to take Brooke out for dinner after the basketball game as a way to get her out of the house so that it could be prepared for the party.

Brooke had gone grudgingly; only agreeing to head out whenever Rachel called Haley for back up support. Then, at dinner, a group of guys from another table had kept on sending over bottles of wine, which Brooke had successfully managed to drink.

Meanwhile, Haley had been forced to pour her glasses of wine into Brooke's whenever she was distracted so that Rachel wouldn't notice anything. Poof – Brooke suddenly had a magically refilling glass.

And here they were – one sober, one drunk and one completely hammered.

The threesome finally made it to Rachel's door and entered the dark house while Brooke giggled cheerfully.

"It could be worse, Hales – at least she's being a happy drunk" Rachel said, while Haley nodded.

"I'm scared that she's just trying to work through the pain with it, though" Haley sighed.

Rachel snorted. "Says the girl who was pouring her wine into Brooke's glass, whenever she thought that no one was looking – by the way, Haley, you do have quite the glow about you of late…"

Haley could only gape in shock while Rachel smirked. "Nothing gets by me, Tutor-wife, or should I say, Tutor-mom. And don't worry, I can keep a secret."

Rachel chuckled again and hauled Brooke outside to greet the party, leaving Haley behind with a stunned look on her face.

She had to tell Nathan before it got out. The question was – how?

*

**A/N: What'd you all think? Next chapter – there will definitely be one, maybe two, newcomers, a drunk Brooke (with lots of Brucas), and with one of the newcomers, a secret from Rachel's past. **


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